It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager, featuring updates from people who had their letters answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers.

1. My window has become the bird-watching window

I’m the person who wrote in about people bird watching from my office window. First off, thanks for responding. I did take your advice and it’s helped. I didn’t make it to the published post in time to respond to any comments or answer questions, but it looks like it blew up! I’m glad most people found the humor in it and the various solutions made me chuckle. I totally get that I’m lucky to have a nice view and that my problem is a small one. I had the unfortunate dilemma of not being able to move desks or switch my equipment around due to the way the desk is built and where outlets are. But I did start asking people who awkwardly lingered if they needed me for something, and I think the message got across because it’s been happening less. I’ve also just gotten more used to it and stopped caring as much. If I really need to focus, I just put in headphones or close the door.

Thank you for removing any guilt I felt for racking up insane levels on Candy Crush while serving my time as Momma Cow. A lot of my insecurity came from returning from parental leave to a major restructure (literally, three days after I came back there was a 7:00 am meeting to explain who was being laid off later that day) and I was not feeling super secure in my job. Things have settled a lot and I ended up with a management team that’s somehow more supportive than I had before despite being two men, one of whom does not have kids. Love to see empathy for other people’s lived experience in real life!

My son is now one and while we still nurse before bed, I said goodbye to my pump about a month after I sent in my initial email and only regretted it the first time we had to buy a can of formula. (I’m pretty sure gold is less expensive.)

Big shoutout to all the other folks with pumping experiences who commented — it was so nice to know I wasn’t having this experience alone.

3. Very kind security guard is driving me insane

Last year I wrote in about a very kind security guard who insisted on opening the door via (very slow) automatic door buttons. I was surprised at the debate my letter set off, and how many assumptions the commenters were stating as fact in their responses! I took your advice and had one more conversation with him using your framing (but did not escalate it to management afterwards).

My update has both good and bad news. The good news is that the security guard has stopped using the automatic door button when it is not needed. He will still assist those using walkers/canes/mobility devices, but no longer waits by the door and pushes the button when every single person approaches. The bad news is that I think he changed his habit not because of our conversation, but because he is often busy escorting various repair workers in and out of the building. Our office building is having serious issues with burst pipes, floods, elevator outages, etc. Last week a small part of the ceiling fell in one office. Never a dull moment when you work in indigent legal services!

When I first wrote to you, I was worried because a manager who I believed had been a positive influence on my team left suddenly without notice. I was concerned that leadership would overreact to this. Reading your response and the comments helped me step outside my own perspective and look at the situation more objectively.

In the end, there was no major overreaction, but there was also barely any reaction at all. Over time, I also learned that the manager I had viewed positively may have contributed to some of the team’s issues as well as the improvements I noticed. He may also just be used now as a scapegoat.

Looking back, the lack of response to that departure feels minor compared to everything that followed:

  • The company I work for is being acquired. The only people who are happy about this are the shareholders. Looking back, it is obvious now that this was something that had been worked on for at least a year before it got announced.
  • I have always known the company I work for leans corporate, but lately it feels more extreme than before. Due to this there is a more competitive atmosphere within teams and between departments, and the acquisition is making many people anxious at a time when everyday costs continue to rise and the world feels unstable.
  • Return-to-office policies were enforced. I now sit in the office to have Zoom calls because I’m the only one from my department in this office.
  • Annual compensation increases have been minimal across the company.
  • Team well-being and DEI initiatives have become much lower priorities. It feels like there is a push toward having people leave on their own to avoid paying redundancy money.

Through all of this, I have also spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to respond:

  • I have focused more on the parts of life that matter to me outside of work. I spend more time on hobbies than I used to.
  • I mentor people and their professional growth is wonderful.
  • I have also had more open conversations with women around me about the kinds of dynamics that exist within workplace “boys club” cultures and how those dynamics affect them. There is more awareness now than there used to be, in part because the behavior is more obvious in this competitive atmosphere.

At the end of the day, though, I still enjoy the actual work that I do. I like many of the people I work with daily, especially outside of my team, and I am still able to support my family financially. For now, that is enough.

Hopefully at some point I will have a more exciting update to share, maybe a better job, more freedom to travel, or a house with more pets than you, Alison. But for now, finding joy and maintaining some stability are my goals.

Thanks for your (and your commenters’) great advice.

I want to report that I was offered a promotion, even after pretty explicitly stating I was not interested in anything of the sort. I had to turn the promotion down, which surprised my boss. When I reminded them that I’d said before that I really didn’t want any change in my role, he assumed I would take a promotion because it came with a pay bump.

I told him I was grateful for the opportunity and loved my job and my team, but an increase in workload just wasn’t accessible for me. When he asked why, I told him the truth: I have some personal responsibilities that I need to keep on top of when I’m not at work, and I don’t want to end up overextended. He was disappointed, but I did not get let go, and they are hiring someone for the role instead.