It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager, running updates from people who had their letters answered in the past.
Remember the letter-writer whose coworker wrote a sonnet about their absences, when the absences were because of grief over the death of their child? Here’s the update.
I did send a curt but professional email to the poet telling him that I didn’t owe him an explanation but would give him one anyway (the petty part of me was hoping he’d feel awful). I also told him my attendance was none of his concern and his actions were incredibly unprofessional. The poet did send an apology email. In it, he apologized, but added he was light-heartedly joking and not trying to call me out. Which of course made the apology a non-apology since he couldn’t help trying to justify what he did.
I ended up emailing an explanation to my coworkers who were there because in the end I felt it was important. Also, at the urging of my department leader, I told my principal what was happening. His response was great. He honored my wish not to pursue it further, and told me he was glad to know what was happening so he had all the information if anything more happened. He also encouraged me to not minimize the poet’s actions, nor to worry about his feelings if I chose to email him. Additionally, since we do make some important decisions on the days I was missing, he wanted to be sure I felt I was able to have input into these decisions despite being absent, and offered to work on a plan to address that if I felt it was needed. He also added that he had not heard any whispers or grumblings about my absences, so I could be reassured that the staff I worked with on a daily basis didn’t have any concerns about my professionalism, and of course he didn’t either.
Luckily I do not have to work with this person on a daily basis, so I’ve been able to put it behind me and take care of myself as needed.
